This thought just came across my mind while I was in the shower. I do a lot of thinking in the shower as you can see. I was just thinking about my birthday this year, and I had a Hummer Limo to bring me around. And on Friday, I was in one again. Lol. It was Max's (James' friend) bday. BUTTTT.. my limo was wayyyyyyy better! =)=)

On a more personal note, I am now in London with James. I normally stay at his house whenever I am here. One thing I am happy about is that I feel closer to his family now. Everyone speaks to me more now. Even his little brother, Jason! He makes me so happy with every single "Jie Jie" that he calls out, as well as every little kiss he plants on my lips!!! He's soooo cute! From him always rejecting me every time he sees me, to him always smiling at me now is a very good progress to me. I may not be a part of his family, but I feel like they are more willing to include me in things that they do. At least to me, I feel like I have a family here too. =D

However, all of these nearly disappeared 2 nights ago. James and I have had 2 big rows these few days. The last one nearly broke us up for good. I was crying like hell. I have never cried like this before. I couldn't control myself and I was trembling. Ou-em-gee! On the bright side, we're still together. I didn't know I have pushed him to his limits. I didn't know he's not happy with me. I didn't know I have been so unreasonable. I didn't give him the freedom to do what he wanted. All I thought about was what's right; what's wrong; what I didn't like him doing. And I always got pissed at him without caring if anyone else was beside us. Although we're still together, I am still sad. I don't know what to do. I don't want him to be sad.

A lost sheep again.